Friday, November 2, 2007

Staying in the Now

People who strive to stay in the now, to experience this moment as it happens, are magnetic. It simply feels good to be near 'em.

I wrestle to achieve being in the moment, and only sometimes succeed. A coworker was shocked to find, when he attempted meditation for the first time, that he could not free his mind of busy thoughts for even 10 seconds at a time. We really are that frantic, inside our heads. So, I give myself some slack - staying in the now is hard to do. When my life feels "in balance" it usually feels nearly effortless to stay in the now. My actions and intentions are in harmony, the pieces and parts of my life all claim the appropriate amount of attention. But it's hard to stay in that state. Nature abhors a vacuum, right? And stasis is...well, 'tis better to be in flux than dead!

What I find most interesting today is the habit of imbalance, the forces that tug and press this way and that in an effort to push us off center, into the gap. Speaking bluntly - not everyone appreciates having us "in the moment" - or in balance. Bosses, lovers, coworkers and sometimes friends all like, they think they like, the frantic, hyper, wildly amusing/busy/zany/zingy versions of ourselves. My boss, for example, thinks that my calm when I am balanced is a kind of dullness, a lack of engagement. Some of my friends find me livelier when I am out of balance - that crazed edgy energy, the panic of feeling that drives humor and motion. Hell, I like being inside all that energy - it keeps me from having even an instant to reflect.

D'oh....was that my outside voice?

But the ease that I feel when in that balanced place - it's so vivid. It is a sense of well being that is easy to recall even in dark moments, an ease that is a worthy goal.

So what is balance? It is, as I mentioned, that state when my actions are in line with my intentions. Action is intention. So what I really mean to say is that balance is when my actions are in balance with my stated intentions, the intentions in my head, those I say out loud, write on "my goals" lists, measure myself and my worth against. Mine are easily stated. My intention is to live so that I value my time over money. To love generously but without giving up my true self. To eat well and move my body in all the ways that it is intended to move. To give back to those who need, to those I love. To follow my dreams. To write well and daily, and to read.

We are now entering the season of little balance, and much mania. Seems a good time to remember what peace there is in silence. I'm trying - those of you who love me best know that. I'm trying very hard to stay in balance. Thanks for the hands and hearts and hugs and good wishes.

Hold tight to your center.

Peace ~ Patti